The Ninety-Nine Percent

99% of rabbits are not Elite.

Fact.

And, truth be told, they never could have been. Their common-garden DNA-seed was sown randomly and without any forethought or eugenic-type planning.

99% of rabbits have their destiny broadly defined before they were even born. They have no control over the dominant and recessive genes inherited from their parents. Their fate is sealed, no matter how hard or how vocally they may protest.

My own rabbits – Simon, Vellhi and Orwell – have occupied my land now for over a year-half. In that time, I have observed them closely and have written before about their individual personalities.

Despite their individual personality differences, the one common genetic trait all three share is they enjoy watching television while nibbling on chocolate-carrot cake.

And because of this particular shared genetic trait, they do not seem to be able to muster the necessary self-motivation to make those changes to their lives to ensure that their offspring have a chance of joining the 1% of Elite rabbits. 

The first philosophical question I pose for you today, dear reader, is this:

“Should a rabbit deny him or herself the self-gratification of television and chocolate-carrot cake so that their future offspring have a chance of living the 1% Elite life of a Br’er Rabbit, or a Peter Rabbit, or a Roger Rabbit or a Bugs Bunny?”

And the second question is this:

“Should I love Simon, Vellhi and Orwell any less because they are not one of the 1% Elite?”

Ponder well, dear reader, for the future of rabbit-kind may be in your hands.

For the Ozimal enthusiasts, I list below the key stats of my rabbits, just in case you wish to recruit any of them for breeding:

 Simon (neé ‘Simone’) Rain

Birthday: 16^th December 2010

Primary Personality Trait: “Buck trapped in the body of a doe”

Gender: Female, in a male kinda way

Fur type: Standard

Ears: Standard

Shade: Standard

Outstanding Features: None

Special Abilities: None

Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake.

Vellhi Rain

Birthday: 19^th December 2010

Primary Personality Trait: Suffers from ‘Chronic Obsessive Happiness Disorder’

Gender: Male

Fur type: Standard

Ears: Standard

Shade: Standard

Outstanding Features: None

Special Abilities: None

Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake.

Orwell Rain

Birthday: 20^th December 2010

Primary Personality Trait: Nasty piece of work. No one has a good word to say about him.

Gender: Male

Fur type: Standard

Ears: Standard

Shade: Standard

Outstanding Features: None

Special Abilities: None

Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake

Rabbits Are People Too

“…and the rabbits sang as if every sparkling drop of morning dew were a fountain of inspiration to them...”

- The Pickwick Papers (1836), Charles Dickens

Simon on her Hatch Day, 365 days ago

Today, Simon - my oldest rabbit - has her 365^th Rez Day !

As I have explained before, whereas human avatars have one Rez Day per year, virtual rabbits have one Rez Day per day.

It's just another one of those Marvellous Mysteries of the Metaverse.

Celebration Carrot Cakes

In this transient, changeable and fickle world that is Second Life, not many rabbits actually make it to their 365^th Rez Day – geez, very few human avatars even make it to their 1^st Rez Day if retention figures are anything to go by!

So it really is quite a feat that Simon has survived so long! A good reason indeed to celebrate - especially after her difficult early life.

You see, Simon has certain gender issues that she would rather we didn’t discuss publicly.  She is a very sensitive rabbit; a buck trapped in the body of a doe.

Suffice it to say that she would rather we didn't address her by her real birth name, 'Simone'.

"Call me Simon"

Vellhi hatched two days after Simon.

Vellhi is always happy! Doesn't matter what happens, he is *always* happy!

How cool is that?

Well, actually, not very cool at all.

I am sad to report that a leading pet psychologist recently diagnosed Vellhi as suffering from Chronic Obsessive Happiness Disorder.

Watching him is like watching a clown perform at your grandma's wake - you know it is *intended* to cheer you up - but it is such singularly inappropriate behaviour that is just doesn't!

Vellhi - Catastrophically Happy

My youngest rabbit is Orwell - named after George Orwell and Orson Welles.

He is a nasty piece of work, a real evil buggar. He likes to call himself 'Napoleon'.

He taunts my other rabbits mercilessly: "If you're a buck, then why dontcha got a willy? Huh?", he will say. And things like, "Keep taking your pills, Happy Boy!"

Today he even threatened to bite off Tutsy's face!

Orwell - No one ever has a good word to say about him

In April 2011, Orwell got himself in trouble with The Authorities for faking his own death to try and claim the insurance money.

Because it was his first offence (that they were aware of), the police let him off with a caution. One of their friendly councillors gave him a donut and told him to stick more closely to church related social activities.

Orwell - Notorious Death Faker (April 2011)

Each of my rabbits has its own foibles and quirks, its own weaknesses and strengths, its own vulnerabilities.

And I love each one of them for who they are.

Because each of them is an individual.

In that respect at least, rabbits are people too.

Pixie xx