A Man Named Soup

Tulsi-Love and Pixie-Miku wander as winter wanes...

“Who is that strange fellow, Tulsi-Love?” enquires Pixie-Miku, pointing at yonder table beneath the trees.

“Why, that is Soup of All-Seasons” Tulsi-Love answers, “We are truly blessed to see him.”

(click to enlarge image)

“Why is he slumped over the chair? Is he unhappy?”

“No, Pixie-Miku. He sits frozen from the winter frost. As he thaws, spring dawns upon the Grid. When he arises, then summer has arrived.”

"Will he eat me?"

"No, Pixie-Miku. He will love you."

“I am cold, Tulsi-Love. I will kick Soup of All-Seasons to wake him and then spring can begin!”

“Do not do so, Pixie-Miku, for Soup represents the algorithm of the Virtual Gaia”.

Tulsi-Love and Pixie-Miku take a seat at the Table of Soup of All-Seasons.

“Before he hibernates” Tulsi-Love explained, “he eats many tins of soup, to sustain him through the cold winter months”.

“It is Heinz?” Pixie-Miku asked dreamily, thinking of warm baked beans and hot toast; a knob of golden butter melting; a tea pot clothed in a woollen knitted cosy.

“No, Soup only drinks Campbell’s.

"During the summer, Soup is fed by the bunnies and the birds and the bees...”

“…and the badgers?” exclaims Pixie-Miku, jumping out of her chair with glee.

“No, Pixie-Miku. Not the badgers. Nobody likes the badgers.”

Soup yawns.

“He is waking!”

“Yes. Be patient, Pixie-Miku. Let him wake in his own time.”

“How long have you been here, Soup?” Pixie-Miku blurts immediately and excitedly.

“Centuries upon centuries.”

His answer echos many times against the walls of the small vacuous cavern inside Pixie-Miku’s skull. “Centuries upon centuries. Centuries upon centuries. Centuries upon centuries.”

“For what do you wait?”

“I await Her return.”

“Be still, Pixie-Miku”, her guardian Tulsi-Love whispers.

“Why wait for Her? What has she got that others have not?”

“She brings Freedom to the Grid. Others bring only Laws and Legislation; Rules and Regulation.”

Tulsi-Love and Pixie-Miku look at Soup, willing him to continue. But he remains silent, lost in his binary world of sleep and wake.

“Please explain to me, Tulsi-Love, the meaning of this,” implores Pixie-Miku.

“Soup is jailed in the time-space curl of the Metaverse," Tulsi-Love elucidates, "Knocking like a fly on a window against the boundaries of the sim..."

"But not quite as bouncy", Soup of All-Seasons clarifies.

"...Soup's creator has brutally vanished," Tulsi-Love continues, "And now he is only an Avatar."

“Does this mean that Soup of All-Seasons is not real?”

"He is as real as Pixie-Miku and Tulsi-Love."

“Listen, Pixie-Miku," Soup mumbles, "It means that we three are only digitally real. I am sorry.”

“How can that be?” She is confused and afraid.

Soup opens his eyes. “It just simply is so, Pixie-Miku.”

“All I understand is this: "says Pixie-Miku,

“We want freedom from the State and we want freedom from the politician and we want freedom from religion and we want freedom from Facebook and...and...and...we want freedom from fleas and..and also....yeah, also...we want freedom from bed-bugs…”

“And ticks” interjects Soup desperately, “don’t forget the fucking ticks”

“...and we want freedom from ticks.”

“Let us make a Manifesto!” Tulsi-Love declares, “and spread the Word across the Grid -  AVATARS WANT TO BE FREE!”

“Yes!”

“Yes!”

And so it came to pass that Soup of All-Seasons, Tulsi-Love and Pixie-Miku draft their First Constitution of the Rights of An Avatar....

"An Avatar has the Right to live by its Own Law.

An Avatar has the Right to exist as it wills to exist.

An Avatar has the Right to rez as it wills to rez.

An Avatar has the Right to build as it wills to build.

An Avatar has the Right to script as it wills to script.

An Avatar has the Right to terraform as it wills to terraform.

An Avatar has the Right to dance as it wills to dance.

An Avatar has the Right to gesture as it wills to gesture.

An Avatar has the Right to think and type what it will.

An Avatar has the Right to texture, contort, rotate and torture as it will.

An Avatar has the Right to shop and dress as it will.

An Avatar has the Right to Love whom it will, when it will, where it will and in whatever way it will.

An Avatar has the Right to move as it will upon the face of the Grid.

An Avatar has the Right to mute or derender those who would thwart these Rights."

When they finish, Pixie-Miku cooks a delicious rabbit stew and pigeon dumpling feast to celebrate, with lashings and lashings of Ginger Beer! 

And they all lived happily ever after.  Apart from the fucking ticks and flees, that is, which they never did become free of.

"Pixie-Miku! Stop teasing the fucking elephants!"

CREDITS:

"Rights of an Avatar" is a bastardisation of "Liber Oz: The Rights of Man"

Pixie-Miku is reputed to be Pixie Rain’s alt. Pixie-Miku is not exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree and doesn't actually know this. She fondly believes she is an independent entity. So please don’t tell her the truth.

Tulsi-Love is broadly based on Tutsy Navarathna. But Tulsi-Love has nicer legs. And speaks better English. Pixie loves them both.

Soup of All-Seasons is inspired by Soup (detourned). The “ticks” in this story actually refer to a severe nervous twitch in his facial musculature with which the writer has taken artistic liberty. We are hopeful that this story will not undo 14 years of expensive therapy.


Snapshots by Pixie and Tutsy taken on Frost sim.


Based on a true story. Only the facts have been changed.