The Ninety-Nine Percent

99% of rabbits are not Elite.

Fact.

And, truth be told, they never could have been. Their common-garden DNA-seed was sown randomly and without any forethought or eugenic-type planning.

99% of rabbits have their destiny broadly defined before they were even born. They have no control over the dominant and recessive genes inherited from their parents. Their fate is sealed, no matter how hard or how vocally they may protest.

My own rabbits – Simon, Vellhi and Orwell – have occupied my land now for over a year-half. In that time, I have observed them closely and have written before about their individual personalities.

Despite their individual personality differences, the one common genetic trait all three share is they enjoy watching television while nibbling on chocolate-carrot cake.

And because of this particular shared genetic trait, they do not seem to be able to muster the necessary self-motivation to make those changes to their lives to ensure that their offspring have a chance of joining the 1% of Elite rabbits. 

The first philosophical question I pose for you today, dear reader, is this:

“Should a rabbit deny him or herself the self-gratification of television and chocolate-carrot cake so that their future offspring have a chance of living the 1% Elite life of a Br’er Rabbit, or a Peter Rabbit, or a Roger Rabbit or a Bugs Bunny?”

And the second question is this:

“Should I love Simon, Vellhi and Orwell any less because they are not one of the 1% Elite?”

Ponder well, dear reader, for the future of rabbit-kind may be in your hands.

For the Ozimal enthusiasts, I list below the key stats of my rabbits, just in case you wish to recruit any of them for breeding:

 Simon (neé ‘Simone’) Rain

Birthday: 16^th December 2010

Primary Personality Trait: “Buck trapped in the body of a doe”

Gender: Female, in a male kinda way

Fur type: Standard

Ears: Standard

Shade: Standard

Outstanding Features: None

Special Abilities: None

Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake.

Vellhi Rain

Birthday: 19^th December 2010

Primary Personality Trait: Suffers from ‘Chronic Obsessive Happiness Disorder’

Gender: Male

Fur type: Standard

Ears: Standard

Shade: Standard

Outstanding Features: None

Special Abilities: None

Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake.

Orwell Rain

Birthday: 20^th December 2010

Primary Personality Trait: Nasty piece of work. No one has a good word to say about him.

Gender: Male

Fur type: Standard

Ears: Standard

Shade: Standard

Outstanding Features: None

Special Abilities: None

Hobbies & Interests: Watching TV while nibbling chocolate-carrot cake

Sir Yes Sir!

"Today, you people are no longer maggots."

- Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

Phillip Sidek & I have at least two things in common...1) we both moreorless "live" in IM while logged into SL and 2) whenever we manage to escape the IM hellhole, we are almost always actively involved in some creative act or other.

Phillip of course is a prolific and popular glamour photographer who has carved out for himself a personal and instantly recognisable style.

Phillip & I have been talking about doing something together for some while now - and in fact have done a few things - just not any that we'd planned!

On Saturday we met up, chatted and decided to do something quick, spontaneous and fun...

...this was the result "Phillip Sidek - Sir Yes Sir!"

Holy Desecration!

"Cover me, when I sleep

Cover me, when I breathe

You throw your pearls before the swine

Make the Monkey blind!"

Ecco Simia - Before & After

In a terrible act of desecration reminiscent of the Taliban's destruction of the Buddha's of Bamiyan in 2001, a 80 year old Spanish Roman Catholic lady has been caught vandalising an important historic and scientific fresco.

Ecco Simia ("Behold the Monkey") by Elias Garcia Martinez depicts a half-human half-simian face and is widely believed to be one of the earliest technical drawings of evolutionary theory.

The unnamed elderly lady splattered the Ecco Simia with white matt paint and then attempted to distort the face to make it look more "religious and saintly".

Alarmed Spanish cultural officials report that the lady was variously shouting, "the Voices made me do it!", "God made me do it!" and "my Priest made me do it!" while blood flowed from the palms of her hands. 

We sincerely hope she gets all the help she needs.

Click here for further information on the sad and distressing story.

10-to-1 On Pixie Rain

I have always been singularly impressed with the size of a  horse's penis.


You can imagine my delight then when an internationally acclaimed breeder, who asked to remain anonymous,  contacted me to tell of a racing horse he had named after me!


Meet Pixie Rain the Horse!

Not only is this gentleman intimately involved with racing horses in RL but incredibly he also has his own film production company in Second Life - Black Stallion Productions!


He has asked me to star in a film called "10-to-1 on Pixie Rain" and I have accepted!


I haven't read the script yet but I love nature and animals and he tells me he is very experienced with breeding, studs and breaking in young fillies.


He speaks a language he calls "gateau talk" and assures me that calling me "bitch" every two sentences is in fact a term of endearment within his culture.


His nine brothers will also need to be on the set during filming, he says, to ensure that all the angles are covered and all holes filled.


Coming soon '10-to-1 on Pixie Rain' - a Black Stallion Production!

Pixie Rain: An Artist's Impression

~Hexee's work is most frequently compared with Lucian Freud's. Usually in the context of "I'd rather have my portrait done by ~Hexee than that blooming Lucian Freud bloke!"


And so you can imagine just how thrilled I was to learn that ~Hexee has honoured me by employing her considerable skills as an artist to produce this portrait.


Thank you ~Hexee, sincerely.

Bring On The Clowns!

After many years of unhappiness, Tulsi-Love and Pixie-Miku eventually run away from their restrictive and unfulfilling life at the circus.

After wandering the wastelands they finally find happiness, security and gainful employment at a prestigious firm of taxation accountants.

However, at weekends....when nobody is around to see....the habits of a lifetime prove hard to break....

 

The Protestant Work Ethic

I am on summer break from Uni and currently staying with my father in a village in Cambridgeshire.

He has organised a summer vacation job for me at a local corner shop. I hate it. And I tell him so. Daily.

His standard response is "It'll be good for you, Pixie-san, to experience the work environment."

"If it is so good for me,  Daddy-sensi, why does it make me feel so shit? Huh?" is my standard reply.

Sometimes his Zen Koans just have no bearing on the reality of the situation.

'Rapture' Tease

'Rapture' will not be finished in time to release it this coming weekend.

It isn't that I haven't been busy beavering away...I have! Except it has all been on things totally unrelated to 'Rapture'.

So, in the meantime, please enjoy this Tease....

Lucian Freud 1922 - 2011

Influential British artist Lucian Freud, probably best known for this portrait of my Mother before she started to put weight on, has died aged 88.

Freud's portraits never particularly concern themselves with flattering the subject - "disturbing" is one adjective frequently applied to them although many agree that "insulting" is equally appropriate. Some of the portraits are even said to have "compelling nastiness".

Other than my Mother, other notables to fall victim to serial portraitist Lucian Freud include Queen Elizabeth v2, Kate Moss, Lilly Allen, Gemma Kidd and Minch Yoda.

Freud was fond of saying:

"I would wish my portraits to be of the people, not like them. Not having a look of the sitter, being them."

and he has never even denied the accusation that he is in fact the grandson of notorious psycho-analyst Sigmund Freud.

Since his death yesterday, Freud's work has been introduced to millions of new people via. Twitter, Facebook, breakfast television, Google Blogger and Fox News.

Lucian The Painter is Dead!!!   Long Live....um, nvm.

Pixie's Song by Hatsune Miku

Pixie-Miku was thrilled to hear this song by Hatsune Miku

Everyday I wake up in a dull room.
My love toward you has flown out the window.
But, like Pixie Rain, between my thighs is wet.
My mind has turned to mud.
Before it was seen as evergreen.
Now, it is ever-grey like this world.
Pixie's Song is obsessing me.
I wish to fly on a wing, just like Pixie-Miku.
I long to sing this song of Pixie.
The melody, never before heard, will go into the sky like a vibrating rabbit.

We're Just A Love Machine

Staying at Home, Watch a Movie

Barry Lubezki's 'The Keyhole Club' is the place to go to watch my films in-world. The underground cinema there shows my films exclusively 24/7.

Sometimes, however, you just wanna stay at home and watch a movie. Fortunately my SL home is equipped with a cinema screen that shows only 'Pixie Rain Productions'!

Watching films at my home is by invite only. Invitee brings the popcorn.

I invited tutsy over to my place for a night of fine cinema and gourmet baked beans! Heinz, no less.



With him now dutifully trapped in my Gypsy Lair, I could make him watch whatever I wanted!

This is tutsy's photo diary of the evening...



 Thanks tutsy! Glad you enjoyed!

Next time let's watch....PsychoKiller!

Jiersen Splashes Rain

The ubiquitous and talented Jinx Jiersen consolidates his position as Second Life's premier porn star photographer by releasing these exclusive photographs of controversial celebrity film director, Pixie Rain.

In other news, it has been widely reported that Rain has recently taken to speaking of herself in the third-person so that she can use words like "controversial" and "celebrity" to describe herself without appearing to be egotistical or pretentious.

Can I Haz A Pr0n Star Plze?

((Name changed to protect my sanity))

[2011/05/08 13:10]  Pr0nStarSurprise Resident: Hi i saw you a porn director & I want 2b in 1 of yr films
[2011/05/28 13:10]  Pixie Rain: hey, thanks for your message. Have you seen any of my films?

10mins later...

[2011/05/08 13:20] Pr0nStarSurprise Resident: I started 2 watch it but I was 2 busy

/me quietly closes the IM window and returns to what I was doing
8 mins later...

[2011/05/08 13:28] Pr0nStarSurprise Resident: OK ready to start. tp me
[2011/05/28 13:10] Pixie Rain: Pixie Rain scratches her head and closes the IM window

Kthxbai.

A totally irrelevant picture to take our minds off this whole distasteful episode:

Au Naturale

The Face of Nutri-Nutt™ 2010